


T is for Trouble

by morna



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, High School Reunion, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Revenge Fantasy, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, past bullying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-05
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-03-14 10:01:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13587720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morna/pseuds/morna
Summary: She had gone to a rich artsy-fartsy high school. She needed someone sauve with class who could be both charming and a grade-A asshole in the same turn of phrase. Someone who wasn’t instantly recognizable. He had to be hot too. Abso-fucking-lutely smoking.Her fingers went still as a thought occurred to her.That really only left one person. Goddammit.Darcy goes to her high school reunion but not without dragging along a certain demigod to stir up some trouble.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I guess this is my second foray into the Tasertricks fandom. I just couldn't shake the idea of Darcy and Loki crashing her ten year high school reunion and all of the shenanigans that would follow. I hope you guys have as much fun reading this as I did writing it. Leave a comment and let me know what you thought!

Darcy frowned as she reread the invitation for the fifth time. The words were crisp back calligraphy on lovely cream vellum paper. She brought it to her nose. It was even scented. They really had not spared any expense. Not that she expected any less. If that hadn’t changed in ten years, she doubted anything else had, which caused her expression to deepen further.

“What’s that?” Jane called as she looked up briefly from where she was trying to tinker with her latest gadget. 

“Oh, nothing,” Darcy said absent-mindedly as she started to chew on her bottom lip in contemplation.

“Sure, doesn’t look like nothing the way you’re staring at it,” the astrophysicist replied as she hit the machine with her wrench. 

The former intern looked up with a start. She had forgotten that sometimes Jane had bouts of awareness of her surroundings from time to time in her whirlwind of sciencing. And of fucking course, now would be one of those times. 

Darcy briefly considered lying or trying to change the subject, but she could tell from the gleam in Jane’s eyes she isn’t going to let this go easily. Better to give up this fight now. “It’s an invitation to my high school reunion,” she sighed, rubbing her fingers against her temple. She could just feel a headache forming already. One that could only treated with margaritas and tacos. 

Her former boss perked up at the news. “Really? You should go!” she chirped as she turned the machine off and back on. It made an ominous clanking noise and belched out a cloud of black smoke. 

“Ha! Last, I checked I wasn’t a masochist. So why would I subject myself to such cruel punishment?” She was already crumpling up the invitation in her hand and preparing to chunk it in the garbage like she should have done ten minutes ago. 

“Because it will be fun!” Jane said in a cheerful voice as she opened up a panel and coughed as more smoke poured out. 

Darcy snorted bitterly. “If you define fun as pain and torture. Then yeah, it will be a barrel of fucking monkeys. Did you even go to yours?” The last part came out skeptically. Jane was pretty and smart, but Darcy had a hard time imagining her as anything other than the geeky girl who probably wore Coke bottle glasses and head-gear braces. And that was long before being a nerd was cool. 

The petite scientist hummed from behind the safety of her machine for a moment before answering sheepishly, “No, but-” at this point she bounced up from her crouch like a Jack-in-the-box, “I wish I had!” She admonished Darcy with a heavy swing of her wrench, a streak of grease across her forehead. 

“Why? Did you actually like those people?” Darcy asked incredulously. 

Jane shrugged. “Not really, but I wish I had gone just to see what everyone was up to and maybe just to prove that I wasn’t the same person as I was then. To show them what I had accomplished.”

“Dude, but you actually accomplished stuff,” Darcy said pitifully as she tossed the letter in the trash finally.

“And you haven’t?” Jane said in an exasperated tone. “Darcy Marie Lewis, don’t you doubt yourself. You’ve done plenty.”

“Like what? Gotten a bachelor’s in a useless field?” She leaned heavily against the side of a lab table.

Jane rounded on her from behind the machine and planted both hands firmly on her shoulders. “You’ve helped with my research on spanning the gap between dimensions. You’ve helped save the world from space elves. You’re a certified Agent of SHIELD, and you’ve seen Captain America and Thor shirtless numerous times in the same room. How many women can say that?”

Her mouth pulled up into a reluctant smile as she rolled her eyes. “I guess when you put it that way I am pretty awesome.” 

The scientist’s fingers flexed comfortingly on her shoulders. “Good. Now, I want you to go to that high school reunion, and show all of those jerks just what you’re made of.” 

“But I can’t tell them all of that,” Darcy said as the realization dawned on her that all of her super-heroey stuff was highly classified and any reveal of it would result in felony charges and some serious jail time. 

Jane tutted. “I’m disappointed in you, Darce. The answer is obvious.”

“Huh?” she asked, brain stalling out. 

“Make it up,” the older woman said as a smirk curved her lips.

 

***

Darcy drummed her fingers on her desk as she mulled over Jane’s idea. It was brilliant in its simplicity and sneakiness. She was surprised her former boss was even capable of such direct thinking. Usually, Jane’s solutions to problems were convoluted and involved insane amounts of calculus. This was incredibly devious and easy, and Darcy loved it. After all, if they hadn’t seen her in ten years how would they know what she had accomplished? It wasn’t like she had kept in touch with anyone from high school. As soon as she had gotten her diploma, Darcy had booked a plane ticket to her out-of-state undergrad and never looked back. 

Still, there was the issue of how far to take it. In this case, truth would have to be stranger than fiction. If she went too extreme they would know she was lying, but she wanted to make a statement. A statement that preferably conveyed the message of “I’m better than all of you douches so suck it!” but with a teensy bit of class. Just a light sprinkling to show she wasn’t living up to her trailer trash roots. 

Of course, all of this hinged on finding the perfect date. Darcy considered herself to be a strong independent woman who was perfectly fine going it alone, but it was a matter of pride for her former classmates. Most of them were married or engaged by now. Some of them several times over. No, her being single fed too much into the old Darcy, the chubby girl who only ever caught the eye of a guy if he needed help with an English or history paper. Her fingers stilled at the old memories, curling into a quiet fist. There was no way she was going if she had to relive those experiences. 

So she briefly considered her options. Her relationship with Ian had been over for years, and her lovelife had been pretty DOA since then. Being an agent of a highly secretive government organization wasn’t exactly conducive to dating. She wasn’t even sure if she was still allowed to date civvies despite the fact that SHIELD was officially disbanded. The last thing she needed was her date passing out cold from a sedative dart to the neck or getting personally interrogated by Romanoff. 

So that left whoever was currently occupying the Avengers brand-spanking new headquarters with her at the moment. Her fingers resumed their drumming. Tony was out of the question obviously. Steve was still MIA and way too obvious. Sam was on the run, and besides, he had that weird flirtationship going with Maria Hill. Rhodey would never agree to it. Dr. Banner would probably die of embarrassment and sheer awkwardness the moment he stepped through the door. There was the possibility of Dr. Strange, but God, that fucking goatee. The thought alone made her want to get out the razor. Thor had recently arrived at the compound, but a haircut and the loss of one eye didn’t change his recognizability. Maybe that new guy who had showed up with him? What was his name again? Peter? But he went by some stupid nickname like Star Wort or something like that. She shook her head. He was cute, but entirely too goofy for her purposes. Jesus H. Christ, she wasn’t about to bring a date who would insist she refer to him by some made up title.  
She had gone to a rich artsy-fartsy high school. She needed someone sauve with class who could be both charming and a grade-A asshole in the same turn of phrase. Someone who wasn’t instantly recognizable. He had to be hot too. Abso-fucking-lutely smoking. 

Her fingers went still as a thought occurred to her. 

That really only left one person. Goddammit. 

***

He wasn’t hard to find, given that he mostly occupied the lounge in order to make himself as conspicuous as possible. The little shit loved to make himself seen in order to rile everyone up that he could. There had been more than a few assassination attempts. Luckily or rather unluckily for Darcy, he was notoriously hard to kill. 

When she found him, he was sprawled across the couch reading a book in an alien language. Darcy recognized it from her recent translations on ancient Aldonian texts. 

“Love in the Great Beyond? Really?” she snorted as she stood in front of him with her arms crossed over her chest, a power stance she had picked up from Natasha. 

If he was insulted, he didn’t show it. Not even a lift of an eyebrow as he turned the page. “I wouldn’t expect you to appreciate the subtleties of extraterrestrial poetry,” he drawled with a sniff as he settled himself more deeply into the couch. 

“Excuse me, Snape. I didn’t expect you to appreciate the subtleties of anything that didn’t involve world domination and murder,” she quipped, hating herself the moment the words were out of her mouth. Good job, big mouth, she thought to herself. Insulting him wasn’t going to earn her his help, and she desperately wanted it. Seeing him like that with one foot resting on the floor and the other long leg thrown over the arm of the couch, Darcy couldn’t deny he was the perfect choice. Even sitting around in Stark brand sweatpants and t-shirt Loki screamed elegance in the long lines of his body. Darcy was lucky to look presentable on most days. 

“I have no idea who this Snape character is, but I can only assume that he is incredibly charming and handsome since you are at the least third person to refer to me as him.” He gave her a toothy grin. 

She couldn’t help herself as she mirrored his expression. Fuck, but he could a charm a snake out of its skin. Actually, he probably had come to think of it. “You’ll just have to read the books sometime in order to find out. That is if Midgardian literature isn’t beneath, Your Highness.” She dropped into a mocking curtsy for emphasis. 

Loki cocked his head to the side and studied her as she rose to her full height once more. His expression had gone from joking to more . . . calculating. She felt slightly queasy as his eyes swept over her again. “I will highly consider it if it elicits that response from you.” 

Darcy resisted the urge to choke, but she could feel the blush creep up from her neck to her cheeks. Here was her opening. She couldn’t waste it by acting like some teenage girl meeting her favorite boy band, despite the fact that her heart was racing and her palms were sweaty. “What if there was another way to earn my gratitude, Space Viking?” 

His face lit with sudden understanding as he snapped the book shut. “There it is. I knew you hadn’t come here for the sole pleasure of my company.” Loki repositioned himself until he was sitting on the edge of the couch with those long-fingered hands clasped between his legs. 

“Why do I have the feeling no one really comes here for that?” Dammit, Darcy, keep your mouth shut! She just couldn’t help herself. Her mouth naturally had a mind of its own, but she lost any semblance of control she had when faced with his smirking, arrogant face that she wanted to punch and kiss at the same time. 

“You wound me,” he said as he pressed a hand to his chest. “Here I thought I was getting along spectacularly with the rest of the prisoners-I mean guests in the compound.” 

“I’m sure it hurt both of your feelings,” she responded, earning a surprised look from him followed by a laugh. 

“Touche. Now what is the purpose of this visit?” His eyes narrowed in suspicion as the cogs of his devious mind began to work. She knew he was considering a number of things. Blackmail? Bribery? Murder even. 

With his renewed scrutiny upon her, Darcy felt her nerves starting to get the better of her. This was a stupid idea anyways. She didn’t even want to go to the stupid high school reunion, and there was so much work to catch up on. She had dozens of alien texts that needed translating with the impending arrival of Thanos and . . . .No. I am going to go to that stupid-ass reunion, and I am going to prove to those fuckers once and for all that I am not just the DUFF or a loser. This might be my last chance before the world ends, she berated herself as she forced herself to walk towards him and plop down on the couch beside him. 

Loki didn’t bother to scoot over but pressed his thigh against hers. Well, she would have to get pretty comfortable with him anyways if he was going to be her date. Besides, they had been dancing around the whole flirting thing for a while now. It’s not like he hadn’t caught her staring at his ass more than once. Those leather pants were just so tight. 

Focus, focus, focus, she chanted in her head as she let out a long breath. “I need a favor.”

There was that famous eyebrow raise. “I had surmised that. What is the exact nature of this favor?” 

“Ineedyoutobemydatetomyhighschoolreunion,” she said in a rush as she expelled the sentence in one breath. Darcy firmly fixed her eyes to the floor as she awaited his reaction.

“No,” he said conclusively as he stood and began to walk out of the room.

“What?” She wasn’t sure why, but she hadn’t anticipated flat out refusal. 

“No,” he repeated. “Why would I accompany you to some idiotic Midgardian social gathering?” 

“Because you’re turning over a new leaf and no longer want to be an epic scumbag?” she said helplessly. 

Loki rolled huffed and rolled his eyes. “I highly doubt going to some mind-numbingly boring mortal event will be enough to erase my past transgressions.”

“It will get you out of the building,” she offered. 

He waved her off with a careless flick of the hand. “I come and go as I please. Do you truly think Stark could contain me?” 

“Not really,” she replied with a shrug, “but this would be sanctioned. On top of that, you get to go on a date with me.” She leaned back against the couch and threw her arms over the back, putting her boobs on clear display. She would use every weapon available in her arsenal up to and including awkward seduction.

His eyes flicked from her face to her cleavage quickly before he gave a quiet chuckle and said, “So humble. Tempting but not enough to subjugate myself to such a humiliating experience. You’ll have to do better than that Miss Lewis if you wish to procure my services.” 

Tempting, huh? Well, it was a start. Darcy crossed one leg over the other. “You know nevermind. I don’t know what I was doing thinking you could pull this off. Clearly, you’re not as good as your reputation makes you out to be.”

His expression turned sharp then, eyes narrowing and mouth thinning. “I don’t know what misinformation you’ve heard, but I can assure you my skills are up to par.” He walked back to the couch, leaning over and caging her in with his arms on either side. “No matter what you might require.” 

Darcy’s breath hitched in her throat and her blush returned with a vengeance. Goddamn, she hated pheromones. She wet her lips thoughtfully as she studied his face, weighing her words as she tried to collect her scattered thoughts. You could cut yourself on those cheekbones, and she couldn’t determine whether his eyes were blue or green or constantly switching between the two. “Mischief. I require mischief. That’s your schtick, right? God of chaos and all?”

“It is.” He leaned in a little closer, and Darcy knew that she should push him away. 

But chemistry. Chemistry was important. If they were going to be a believable couple who were crazy hot for each other they would need to make sure they were compatible. Yeah, that sounded totally legit.

“Good. I want you to sew a little chaos while we’re there.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to make them look like the jackasses they are,” she breathed, trying and failing to keep from staring at his lips.

His mouth curled into a smirk. “Revenge through humiliation, then? You have pleasantly surprised me, Miss Lewis. I didn’t think you the type.”

Darcy swallowed heavily. “You have no idea.”

“I should like to find out.” 

“Do we have a deal, then?” She sat up a little straighter, bringing her mouth dangerously close to his. 

He paused a beat. “We do if only for the sake of satisfying my curiosity.” Then, he pushed himself away from the couch and sauntered off to another room. 

Darcy blew out the breath she’d been holding and let her head drop against the back of the couch. “What did I just get myself into?” 

**

One week later

It was the day before the high school reunion, and Darcy decided it was finally time to check in on Loki. She had not been avoiding him per se, but she had specifically been mapping her way through the compound in order to decrease her chances of encountering him. It was an espionage exercise, she told herself. Totally not avoiding him. At. All.

The whole idea was laughable. What was there to avoid? Besides the knowing smirks and cocked eyebrow and stupidly fitted suits and tight leather pants. Nothing. It was perfectly normal that her blood pressure skyrocketed around him, and she felt like she had doused herself in gasoline. 

Still, it was time to put the exercise to an end. It had only been half successful to begin with, which proved to Darcy that she needed to carry them out more often to remain sharp. He had always seemed to be lurking around a corner or standing at the island in the kitchen when she had thought the coast was clear to sneak her mid-afternoon coffee. 

Today she found him sprawled once more on the long sofa reading another book. This one seemed to be on ancient Kordellish binding rituals. That one had been a real bitch to translate since she had had to backtrack to an ancient manuscript that was still only half deciphered. In the end, it had been pointless as well, offering no clues as to how to possibly defeat Thanos or even untie his proverbial shoelaces. 

“Interesting read?” she asked.

Loki shrugged. “The author’s understanding on the properties of energy manipulation and refraction are elementary at best. He makes things unnecessarily complicated when using a simply elegant looping spell would address most of the issues he brings up.”

“You really should be a book critic for the New York Times, dude,” she drawled as she took a step forward. “But we have other issues to discuss.”

“I know,” he said with a snap of the book and set it on the coffee table. “I was wondering when you were going to finally come to me about our ridiculous arrangement.”

“You’re not backing out, are you?” she said suspiciously, both hoping and dreading that he would. 

“Oh no, I wouldn’t dream of passing up on the opportunity to wreak a little mayhem,” he said with an evil grin. “It’s been terribly dull around here, and your texts on magic are inane at best.” 

“Well, good,” she said with false bravado and flipped her hair over one shoulder. “I wanted to discuss your appearance.” 

The god raised an eyebrow. “What about it?”

“You can’t go as you are. You might be recognized. Besides, you’re a shapeshifter.”

“I see.” His appearance shifted as he transformed in a wave of shimmering light. In front of her now sat a perfectly average looking man in his mid-to-late thirties with brown hair and eyes and a slight paunch. “Better?”

Darcy shook her head vehemently. “I need you to stand out not blend in.”

Loki blinked and became engulfed in another curtain of light. Gone was the average looking man replaced by a humanoid creature with green skin and violet eyes and a row of spikes rising from the top of its reptilian skull. “Good enough?” he hissed.

“You know what I mean,” she huffed. “I need you to be hot not a lizard-man-thing-person. Whatever.” Why was he being so impossible?

Another blink, and now he looked like eerily like a combination of Steve and Thor. The shoulders were broad, the eyes a dreamy blue, and the hair was gold and fell to his shoulders. He spread large tanned hands. “Does this suit your needs?” The disdain was clear in his voice. 

Gripping his chin in one hand, she tilted his head to the side to study the face. He was undeniably hot like that. Not that she would tell him that, she liked remaining stab free thank you very much. It wasn’t quite right there. It was too all American golden boy for her tastes. They’d never buy it, and it wouldn’t have all of those drama club bitches at her school drooling over him. He was far too apple pie. 

“No,” she said after a long pause and ignored the way her heart fluttered when she watched the relief wash over his face. “I want you to look like you but different.”

“How very descriptive,” he drawled as he resumed his natural appearance. 

“I mean like,” Darcy flapped her hand in front of her to take in his body, “keep your face and body proportions but tweak a few things.” 

Loki let out a long suffering sigh and transformed again. His hair stayed black, but transformed into a long undercut. Gone were the Stark issued sweatpants and t-shirt. They had been replaced by black jeans, a white under shirt, and a leather jacket. She could see the hint of a tattoo on the inside of his wrist and runes tattooed across his knuckles. The little shit had his name spelled out across his left hand and hers on his right. She did not want to think about what that meant. He’d even had the audacity to add guyliner and black nail polish. 

“Is this more to your liking?” he said with a shit-eating grin. 

Darcy internally panicked as she took in his appearance. How had he known? How the fuck had he known? Had he peered into her teenage fantasies, rummaged around in her head? Had he called her mom and asked what posters had lined her room? He looked like the ideal rockstar from ten years ago, but somehow managed to pull it off without looking dated. Adult Darcy told herself he looked like a complete and utter douchecanoe who wasn’t worth the heartache and headache he would inevitably induce, but deep, deep inside, Teenage Darcy was rising to the surface with a vengeance. She was thrilled beyond belief. Teenage Darcy was allowing their hormones to kick into high speed. She didn’t give a damn if he looked ridiculously pretentious and melodramatic. She loved it, every last detail. 

She let out a long sigh as she gained some control of herself. “It will do,” she said in a shaky breath. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning to catch the flight.”

“There will be no need for that.” He looked at her through kohl-rimmed eyes, and Jesus fuck, when did they get so green? “I’ll teleport us to the necessary location.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” 

“I despise your primitive tin cans. I will get us there in seconds without the nightmare that is your security measures.” The illusion faded, and he was once more wearing workout clothes. 

“Is it safe?” she asked, trying to keep the nervousness out of her voice. She had seen Thor use the bifrost, and honestly, the thought made her pee herself just a little.

“Come now, Miss Lewis? Don’t you trust me?”


	2. Chapter 2

Darcy stood in the lounge nervously shifting from foot to foot on her five inch heels. She normally didn’t wear shoes like this, but her grandmother had always told her “the higher the heel the closer to God”. Well, Darcy needed all of the divine intervention she could get, and plus, Loki was so damn tall he’d have to crane down to kiss her.

That was one thing they would have to talk about once Loki got down here. She wanted to make sure he didn’t take too many liberties while they were there. He had to seem crazy about her, but that didn’t mean he got free range.

Her toes were starting to kill her when he showed, dressed as he had been the day before in a leather jacket and black pants that fit him like a fucking dream. Darcy fought to keep her face under control.

“Miss Lewis,” he greeted as he strolled into the room.

“Babe,” she corrected and made him stop in his tracks.

“Excuse me? Did you just-” 

“You’re going to have to call me babe or Darcy when you’re around them,” she said before he got the wrong idea. “And we need to think of your name.” 

“I think Luke might be the simplest solution,” he offered. “Close enough to my real name, but American and modern.”

Darcy nodded in agreement and clasped her hands in front of her. “You’re Luke then. I want to go over some ground rules before you magically zap us there.” 

He cocked an eyebrow. “You’re giving me rules when I am the one who is doing you the favor? I don’t think you realize how favors work, babe.”

She flushed at the endearment despite the heavy sarcasm. “Don’t act like you aren’t enjoying yourself already. When was the last time you got to go out and cause some trouble?”

“Fine, what are your “ground rules”?” he said with a weary sigh. 

“You can cause all of the mischief you like, but no one can get get killed or seriously injured and/or maimed. Don’t send anyone to another dimension, planet, or time. No spells, curses, or hexes can last longer than a week. Don’t do anything obviously magical that it can’t be explained through logic or bring the U.S. government down on our heads.”

“Is that all?” he asked, a sneer forming on that handsome face. 

She paused to think for a moment. “I’ll let you know if anything comes to me. Also, when it comes to affection I want you to seem like you adore me but nothing over the time top. You get a max of two ass grabs during the entirety of the night, but no groping here-” she passed her hands in front of her boobs, “You may kiss me on the forehead, lips, cheek, or even neck if you’re feeling particularly frisky, Lover Boy.” 

His lips were pressed together as if he were trying to stifle a laugh. “You’ve put a lot of thought into this, I see.” 

“Yep,” she answered with a vigorous nod. There was no denying that she had. She’d only gotten four hours of sleep between trying to consider every possibility and wanting to back out. Even now, she felt mildly nauseous. “Now let’s get going, Magic Man.” She held out her arm for him to take before she lost what little courage she had managed to muster. 

“Anything for you, Doll,” he said as he wrapped an arm tight around her waist and drew her flush to his side. 

Darcy didn’t have time to think of a proper response before they shimmered out of existence. It was an odd feeling like her whole body had fallen asleep. Pins and needles danced over her skin, and there was the slightest feeling like she was spinning. Loki remained glued to her side the whole time, fingers gripping her tightly. 

What felt like seconds later, they were deposited roughly two blocks from where her old high school was. She recognized the neighborhood easily. She had passed through it many times walking home to the trailer park because the bus lines didn’t extend that far. It hadn’t changed much, not that she was surprised. It was still a mix Greco-Roman revival houses and dark red brick. The lawns were clipped and bright green, and the azalea bushes were a riot of color. Even the sweltering heat was the same. She felt sweat begin to form on her brow. 

“We’ve gotta get to the school or we’ll melt out here,” she said as she dabbed at her forehead with a tissue. 

“Certainly,” Loki said in a wilted tone. Apparently even Asgardians weren’t immune to Georgia’s sweltering humidity in late July. He slipped out of his jacket, and Darcy admired the way the tattoos played across the muscle of his forearms. She thought she could spy a version of Yggdrasil twining around his left. 

He pulled a key out of his pocket and pressed a button. A black Aston Martin Vanquish Zagato roared to life. Loki walked across the street towards the car with Darcy teetering behind on her heels. 

“How did you even get that?” she hissed under her breath. 

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to,” he quipped as he opened the door for her to slide in.

“Well, just return it by the morning, okay?” she pleaded as her butt touched leather seats that surprisingly didn’t set her thighs on fire. 

He only gave her a smirk before walking around the front of the car and getting in himself. The car idled like a tiger purring.

“Do you even know how to drive this?” She flapped her hands around the interior of the car. “Cause I sure as hell can’t.” She glanced down at the six-speed stick shift. She was lucky to get around in her little Ford Fiesta without bumping into something.

“Not exactly, but . . .” he laid his hands on the steering the wheel and closed his eyes. 

“Not exactly!” she squawked and reached for the door the handle. Darcy gave it a sharp tug, but felt only resistance. “You let me out of this deathmobile right now or I’ll smack you so hard to Valhalla your ancestor’s ears will ring!”

“If you would just be quiet and let me concentrate, you’d see what I mean,” he growled through gritted teeth. His knuckles tightened on the steering wheel. 

“Okay, okay, fine, do your voodoo,” she muttered under her breath as she crossed her arms. 

“Thank you,” he said as his brow furrowed deeply. Forty-seven thousand heartbeats later, he lifted his hands from the steering wheel and his brow smoothed. Just as his eyes opened, the stick shifted itself and the car began to move.

“What the fuck did you do?” Darcy squeaked as she grabbed onto the dashboard for dear life. 

“It’s a simple spell really given your primitive technology. I connected my will into the machine itself. It will take us where we need to go.” Loki reclined his seat back to get the extra leg room and pillowed his head on his arms. 

“Definitely doesn’t sound simpler than just driving the stupid thing,” she said irritably as she shifted in the seat, expecting the car to go careening over a nonexistent cliff any second. 

It took less than two minutes for the car to navigate its way to the high school and park in the lot amongst a sea of Mercedes Benzs, Cadillacs, and Lexuses. Darcy felt her hackles rise at the sight of the old brick building that looked like something out of Harry Potter with its tan sprawling brick building and high arched windows. 

Loki on the other hand seemed not bothered at all to find himself in a strange and new situation. He popped the seat up, looked around with a mischievous grin, and said, “Let’s get started, shall we?” 

Darcy suppressed a groan and started to climb out when the Trickster said. 

“Let me, Love, I am your doting fiance, after all.” The Asgardian slid out of his seat and walked to the other side where he opened her door and offered her his leather-clad arm. 

She shot him a narrow-eyed look. “Remember only two ass grabs,” she muttered out of the side of her mouth, “and make them count.” She slid her arm over and tried to get balanced on the stilettos. How had she ever let Pepper talk her into wearing these? The blond made it look so easy!

“No worries, Babe,” he said as he patted her hand, “I don’t want to break my back having to reach all the way down there.” 

“You’re so funny, sweetie,” she simpered as a pair of her old classmates wandered by, and casually let her heel drive into the toe of his boot. 

“Nice try,” he whispered, “but these are steel-toed.” His fingers laced through hers and gave her hand a painful squeeze. 

“What about your balls?” she asked as they made their way through the front of the doors. 

“Those are merely brass. My tongue is silver though,” he quipped and dropped his head low to whisper it into her ear. His black hair draped in front of his face dramatically. 

“And lemme guess, a heart of gold?” Darcy gave a false laugh and wave to someone she only vaguely recognized. Where did she know her from? Drama? Art? French? Who cared honestly at this point? 

“It’s kind of you to assume I have one at all,” he replied and pulled her closer so that the heat of his breath washed over her neck. She could feel goosebumps rising on the back of her arms, and a blush crawling up her neck to her cheeks. 

“I didn’t assume you actually had one. I just assumed you would say you did.” Darcy stared up into his face in what she hoped everyone thought was utter adoration. 

“You wound me,” he breathed and let one long-fingered hand cup the side of her face.

Without thinking, Darcy’s own hand came up to lay over the top of his and ran her thumb along the back of his knuckles. She stopped herself when she saw his eyelids lower and the pupils dilate slightly. Fuck, what was she doing? It was frighteningly easy to get into the role. It was frighteningly easy to allow herself to be intimate and open with him for real. Get ahold of yourself, Lewis, she silently admonished as she forced herself to drop her hand to the side and resume walking to the gym, This is just another mission. That’s all. He is a tool to get the job done. 

The gym was much as she remembered it: brightly scrubbed boards and basketball championship banners hanging from the ceiling. A banner reading “Welcome Back Class of ‘08” hung on the right hand wall in golden calligraphy. Tables were crowded along the walls filled with expensive catered food of a Eurasian blend complete with center pieces made of mason jars and twine. They had even managed to recruit a suitably obscure indie band to play live in the corner. Darcy was sure they were supposed to sound avantgarde, but it just sounded like random noise to her uncouth, peasant ears. 

God, she wanted to puke. The only good thing going for the whole thing was the open bar located in the right hand corner. She knew without looking it would be stocked with only the best shit. No Aristocrat vodka for her. 

“Norns, this is awful,” Loki muttered under his breath as he took in the horribly cliched attempt at shabby-chic. 

“You’re not backing out on me, are ya?” she said, half hoping he would say yes.

“Wouldn’t dream of it, babe,” he replied and dropped a kiss on her cheek just in time for the last person Darcy ever wanted to see again stroll up. 

“Darcy!” a sickeningly familiar voice chirped. Becky Van den Berg strutted on those sky-scraper tall legs across the room to her. Darcy was severely disappointed and only mildly surprised to find that the former homecoming queen and once star ingenue of the drama club had kept her size 4 figure. Her blonde hair pulled back in a perfectly coifed bun, and she was clad in a tightly fitted knee length white dress paired with a ginormous Michael Kors bag. 

“Becky,” she answered with all the forced enthusiasm she could muster, which wasn’t much. 

“Oh, it’s Rebecca now,” the blonde corrected with a cold smile as she raked her eyes over her former victim. “What have you been up to?”

“I’m living in New York now,” she said. 

“How exciting,” the bitch-formerly-known-as-Becky said coolly. Her eyes moved from Darcy to Loki, giving a noticeable pause. 

“What about you?” Darcy offered, already wanting to flee. Just being around her former nemesis made her skin crawl. 

“Oh, I’m just keeping busy with the charities and galas. I like to be active in the community. New York seems to have done you some good,” she said as she finally managed to pull her eyes from Loki back to Darcy. “You finally lost all of that weight. I guess you aren’t Dumplin’ anymore.” 

Darcy felt herself go stiff like someone had dropped a cube of ice down her dress. She could feel the old insecurities rise up, and suddenly, she felt like she was 15 again trying out for the lead role in the play only to be told she was “literally too much for the part”. It was the oddly reassuring brush of Loki’s cheek against hers that brought her senses back to the present day. “Yeah, I did,” she said casually, “and what about you? Are you still touting around that extra 185 pounds or did you and Brad finally break up?” 

Darcy watched in fascination as a myriad of emotions flickered between Becky’s mildly tranquilized eyes and wondered how many Xanax the bitch had taken before she got here. For a second, the mask cracked, a slight straining around the eyes and faltering of the smile. The actress in Becky came through though as she said, “Oh no, we’re still together. We’ve been married for seven years now and have two incredible children. How did you two meet? He doesn’t seem like your type.” Becky did nothing to hide the mental undressing she was giving him, eyes moving slowly from his head down to his boots.

Fuck, they hadn’t established a story. How could she have forgotten something so obvious? That was Agent 101 shit: establish a plausible story. “Why don’t you tell her, honey? You tell it so much better than I do,” she said with a giggle.

“Of course, love,” he said with a smile, “Darcy and I met while she was working for a client in London. She’s so modest, but she just made partner with an international law firm in New York. We met at one of my shows.” He gave her another beaming smile with so much pride coming out of his eyes that Darcy thought she might float away. 

“You’re in a band?” Becky/Rebecca enthused, leaning in a just little closer. The bitch always had been a groupie. “What’s the name?” 

“Oh, you’ve probably never heard of us,” he said as he fished around in his back pocket and pulled out a cd. “We’re called Glorious Purpose.” 

Becky took it with a girlish grin. “I’ll be sure to check y’all out,” she said as she tucked the cd in her bag. 

Darcy squelched the urge to roll her eyes and could only wonder where the fuck Loki had gotten that cd and what exactly was on it. 

“Becky, oops sorry I meant Rebecca,” Darcy cut in, “are you doing any acting? I know after graduation you were talking about going to the West Coast.” 

The blonde’s expression soured, and Darcy almost felt sorry for her. Almost. “No, Brad and the kids keep me so busy, and you know, motherhood is the greatest job in the world. I need to get going though. So many people to catch up with. I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name.” She aimed an expectant glance at Loki.

“I didn’t offer it,” he replied and gave a fierce flash of teeth, “but it’s Luke.”

Rebecca gave a nervous laugh and said, “Well, it was a pleasure to meet you.”

“Pleasure’s all yours,” Loki said politely.

Becky rapidly blinked a few times as her thoroughly Southern brain tried to compute how to handle such impoliteness. She then cleared her throat and said, “I’ll see you around.” 

“Bye, Becky,” Darcy called after her with a little pageant wave. 

“What a horrible woman,” he said from behind her as he rested his chin on the top of your head. 

“You should have seen her in high school. She made my life a living nightmare.” 

“Really?” he drawled, the word weighted with some unknown meaning.

“Yes, why?” she asked sharply, tugging herself away from him to glare up into his seemingly innocent face. 

“No reason,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders and a down turning of his mouth. 

Darcy narrowed her eyes at him but let it drop. She knew better than to try to penetrate the maze that was his mind. She’d have more success getting Tony to give up his hair gel.

The next half hour was spent schmoozing various assholes whose names she had forgotten over the past decade but not the hell they’d made her life. Each face had a special memory attached to it, and Darcy was doing her damnedest to push her supposed blissful relationship with Loki into their plastic, overly-contoured faces.  
The god of mischief had only used one of his two allotted ass-grabs by the time Darcy decided they needed to start drinking the harder stuff. She’d already downed two flutes of champagne. 

“These people are insufferable,” he stated flatly as he watched some of her former classmates pose and posture as they tried to nonchalantly display the rocks on their fingers. 

“I thought you liked mingling with the trash,” she replied as she stared into the depths of her glass in disappointment. 

Loki sighed. “Only if they’re interesting. Sakaar was many things but boring was never one of them.” 

“Well, I’m going to go get us some liquor. This isn’t going to cut it anymore.”

The Asgardian gave her a bored hum of agreement as she tottered off towards the bar. Darcy had just placed an order for two whiskeys on the rocks to the bartender when four sweaty sausage-like fingers wrapped around her arm. She suppressed her newly ingrained instincts to do a sweeping kick and knock her opponent’s feet out from underneath them (thanks SHIELD!). 

“Who-“ she asked whirling around and encountered the only person she wanted to see less than Becky.

Brad stared down at her with a wide, toothy smile. 

“Darcy Lewis,” he said in faux-disbelief, “I never thought to see you here.” 

“Y-yeah,” she said as she swallowed and pried his fingers off of her arm. She spun on heel and faced the bar again. What was taking that damn bartender so long? “I was hoping not to see you.” 

“C’mon, Darce,” he pleaded behind her back in a voice that made the hairs on the back of her arms raise. “Why the cold shoulder?”

“Don’t call me that,” she said through clenched teeth and turned around to face him. “And don’t act as stupid as you look though that’s still pretty fucking stupid.” 

His brown eyes looked hurt as he feigned innocence. “You can’t still be upset about that whole picture thing, can you? It was over ten years ago. It was just me being a young, dumb teenager.” 

“You sent it to everyone on the lacrosse team!” she practically shouted, every muscle in her body going rigid. Brad was still tall and imposing in the former football star gone to see kinda way. She could take him. She knew it. That would raise questions though that she wasn’t allowed to answer. 

“Okay,” he acquiesced as he held his hands up defensively, “it got a little out of hand. I’m sorry, alright? Is that what you want?”

She heard the clinking of the tumblers as the bartender finally set her drinks on the counter. “One more thing,” she said in falsely sweet voice. 

Brad’s eyes lit up with that twinkle that she had once found so endearing but now only made her nauseated. “What?” he asked and Darcy crooked her index finger to make him stoop down to her level. The asshole honestly thought he was going to get a kiss or something.

Darcy snatched one of the glass tumblers off of the counter and tossed the contents of the drink into the douchebag’s face before smashing it into the side of his skull. The glass broke under the impact and opened the skin from his temple to just below his cheekbone in a long ragged gash. 

Brad screamed and cursed as his hand clasped the side of his face, bright red blood pouring between his fingers. The bartender only gave her a slow confused blink as she took up the other drink and sipped on it slowly. 

“That’s what,” she answered around the burn of whiskey in her throat.

“You bitch, you fucking bitch,” Brad gasped out as he struggled to stand upright. 

“You’re damn right.” Darcy allowed herself a smirk. “Thanks for the apology.” 

“Is there a problem?” a smooth voice said behind her.

“She’s fucking crazy,” Brad sputtered as he pressed the sleeve of his suit to the wound to staunch the blood flow. “I’m going to have the slut cuffed and thrown into prison.”

“You’ll do no such thing,” Loki replied evenly as he twined an arm around her waist, “or I’ll give you a matching wound across your neck.”

Darcy couldn’t see the expression he gave Brad, but it was enough to make the rest of his blood drain from his face. The former star lacrosse player shot her a dirty look and shuffled away, drops of red spattering in his wake. 

“What was that about?” Loki asked as he watched Brad retreat into the men’s restroom.

“Sweet, sweet revenge,” Darcy answered as she polished off the whiskey and ordered another. 

“I like the way you think,” he murmured into her hair as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She knew it was for show, but it was so tempting to believe it. “I believe it’s  
time to get the party really started.”

She looked up at him then and watched as he attempted to hide the smile wanting to burst onto his face. “What are you planning exactly?”

“Oh, I can’t tell you that. It would ruin the surprise.” With those departing words, Loki snatched the refilled drink out of her hand and downed it in one gulp. She shuddered as she imagined that much whiskey sliding down her throat at once. The Asgardian didn’t even wince. He gave her wink and then disappeared into the crowd. 

Darcy sighed and ordered another whiskey. The bartender gave her the stink eye as he polished a glass with a clean rag but ponied up the drink after she slid a twenty dollar bill across the counter. Now, it was only a matter of waiting to see what hell Loki unleashed upon her unsuspecting former classmates. She could only hope it would be subtle enough to let them fly under the radar. Fury would already be on her ass about the glass incident. She had a headache just thinking about the paperwork it was going to involve. More than likely he would put her on desk duty for six months. 

Ten minutes passed, then twenty, and then a half hour. Loki was still nowhere to be seen, and Darcy was now nursing a screwdriver. She was just beginning to think he had ditched her when suddenly her phone and nearly everyone else’s in the room went off with a series of chirps that indicated the arrival of a text message.  
Frowning, Darcy slipped it out of her clutch and checked the message. There displayed on her screen in full HD glory was Brad bandaged face and all with his hand up Brittney Malone’s dress with her pressed against the brick wall outside of the gym. If everyone’s reaction was something to go by they had all gotten the same message.  
There was a strangled scream from across the room, which Darcy took to mean Becky had gotten it as well. She watched with no small amount of pleasure as her nemesis marched across the gym to where her husband sat on the bleachers. 

Brad only managed to get in one pitiful, “Babe-“ before his future ex-wife began to wail on him mercilessly with her purse. Darcy cringed at the solid thwack as the purse hit his left shoulder and then his back as he began to climb up the stairs. Not to be put off so easily, Becky kicked off her heels and tossed one at his head. They continued the chase up and down the bleachers at Becky cursed him for being a “lyin’ sack of dog shit”. 

Darcy made a contented hum as she took another sip of her drink, enjoying the show. From another corner, she could hear more commotion as a shoving match started between two of the former baseball players who had had a little too much to drink. No one was quite sure who had started it, but they seemed more than happy to continue it. This of course spilled over to their buddies who were already rolling up their sleeves. 

It was then that Loki materialized by her side, seemingly out of thin air. 

He surveyed his work proudly with his hands clasped behind his back like an artist studying his masterpiece. “This night turned out to be not such a bore after all,” he said innocently.

“I think so. What do you say we go get another drink and get some fresh air?” She said with a gentle elbow to the ribs. The room suddenly felt stuffy as the alcohol made her cheeks flush.

“I wouldn’t drink anything else tonight,” he said as he offered his arm.

“And why not?” Darcy asked she slipped her hand into the crook of his elbow.

“I may or may not have spiked it with a fast-acting laxative,” he said airily as they made their way to the gym doors. 

Darcy let out a snort as she walked outside and took in a deep breath of night air laced with gardenias. It was full dark now, and the humid heat of the day was only relieved by a small breeze. The warm air seemed to wrap around her like a glove. 

They walked in silence for a while, the only sounds being the scream of the crickets and the occasional car passing. Oddly, it wasn’t uncomfortable. Darcy found she liked the way it settled over them so naturally. Usually, she felt the need to fill any gaps in conversation with her own irrelevant chatter, but this was different. It made them almost like two normal people just out for a night time walk not an agent of SHIELD and an Asgardian demigod she’d conned into being her fake date. 

Sometime during their walk, she’d let her head fall against his shoulder, and he had done nothing to correct it. Darcy did her best not to dwell on it once she realized it. After all, there was no one else out there to keep up the pretense for. 

“Let’s go see how things are progressing inside,” she said as they made their third lap around the school. 

“Yes, let’s,” Loki said lightly as they made their way back inside. 

Streamers danced around them as they lost their moorings on the ceiling. The banner hung lopsidedly and looked ready to fall with the slightest hint of wind. The band had long ago given up playing their real songs and were instead mindlessly picking and tuning, which more closely resembled music than their own work. Off to her right, Darcy heard someone cursing and the sound of a fist cracking against bone. This was quickly followed by the sound of someone hitting the floor and then by the meaty sound of someone getting pummeled. Behind her there were similar noises as the fight continued. She could just make out the faint snifflings of Becky who was now nursing her broken marriage with a bottle of merlot she had swiped. Darcy supposed she would find out about the laxative soon enough. 

All in all, it was complete and utter pandemonium. Chaos. She couldn’t have been more pleased. 

“This is all your doing,” she accused Loki with a twinkle in her eye as she looped her arms around his neck.

“That is why you brought me, is it not?” His hands tightened at her waist and drew her body flush against his. 

Darcy caught her bottom lip between her teeth in contemplation. It was stupid. It was stupid and completely batshit insane. But. . . fuck it, whatever. She only lived once and maybe not for much longer. So far everything else had worked out for her tonight, kinda if you squinted and looked at it from a distance. 

“Come with me,” she said as unhooked her arms, grabbed his hand, and began to drag him towards the hallway that led to the faculty offices. 

“Where are we going?” Loki asked as he allowed himself to be towed behind, too busy admiring his handiwork to be truly concerned.

“To my old gym teacher’s office,” she said without even looking backwards at him. Her hand was starting to sweat as she felt her courage flag. Darcy squared her shoulders and plowed onwards. If this didn’t work out who cared? More than likely she and everyone else in this room would be dead in like a month when the Giant Purple Death Pickle came down to claim his space jewelry. So yeah, what did she have to lose? Not jack shit. 

“Why?” the god of mischief asked in an amused tone. 

She didn’t answer him, but continued her march past the restrooms (which still had a long line) and into the tiled hallway. Fluorescent lights flickered overhead. She could hear muffled yelling from the gym, but no one was in the immediate vicinity. She glanced down the corridor. Coach Etheridge’s name plate was still stuck to office 137. 

Perfect. 

She spun on her heel to face him, getting so close that she forced him to back up a step to keep her from stepping on his toes. With more courage than she had ever mustered in her entire life, even more than she had needed the night she decided to do drunken karaoke to Notorious BIG’s Big Poppa, she took Loki’s face in her hands and pressed their lips together in a crushing kiss. 

She swallowed the noise of surprised pleasure he made as he opened his mouth to her tongue. His arms twined around her waist once more, holding her so tightly he lifted her off the ground to keep from bending his back. Darcy let herself get lost in the rush of it. She only let herself feel the brush of his tongue against hers, the tight clutch of his fingers as he clung to her. 

She relaxed into the kiss as he angled his head to better meet her demands. Heat melted through her as she brushed one hand through his dark hair, missing the true length of it. Jesus Fucking Christ, what would it be like to run her hands through it when it was shoulder length and not an undercut? She let out a small mewl as he gently bit her bottom lip. 

She took the opportunity to break the kiss. “You’re going to fuck me in that office,” she said with a nod of her head towards the door. 

Loki stared at her in a mixture of raw lust and confusion and what might have been awe. He blinked once as he processed her words. Finally, he swallowed heavily and said, “Fine.” Both hands drifted from her waist to her thighs, and Darcy needed no further instruction. She wrapped her legs around his narrow hips, hooking her ankles around the small of his back. He carried her one handed and undid the lock with a bit of a magic with the free hand. She felt the tingle in the air as they passed through the doorway, and she flipped on the light switch. Loki kicked the door shut behind them. 

A small desk lamp came on to reveal the interior largely unchanged from when she had been an actual student. It even smelled the same like a mixture of Brut aftershave and Bengay. 

“The cameras,” Loki gasped as Darcy found a particularly delicious spot on his neck and began to suck. 

“Leave ‘em,” she said as she let her teeth lightly graze his skin. 

“I don’t understand,” he hissed as he stalked towards the desk. 

“I want them to know,” she whispered into his ear, letting her warm breath blow across his neck. Darcy felt something electric rising up within her. A giddiness she hadn’t felt in a long time. This was gonna be her final fuck you to the assholes who had watched and done nothing as those rich shits had made her life a living hell for living in a goddamn trailer park. She wanted them to know that Darcy Marie motherfucking Lewis had gotten boned right there in that office. It was gonna be a PR nightmare. Fury would be . . . well, furious. She’d handle the consequences later. If there was a later.

Loki let out a low moan in the back of his throat and swept everything off the desk onto the floor. Papers and folders and pens and staplers hit the tile with a clatter as Darcy found herself roughly deposited on the scarred pine desk. He was on her in an instant, his elegant hands going to the back of her dress to tease the zipper open.  
Darcy arched her back to help him and undid the clasp of her bra, letting the undergarment slide down her arms to the floor. Loki took a step to admire the view, and it was a very good one if Darcy said so herself. His hands swept around the front to cup the underside of her breasts, the pads of his thumbs brushing across her nipples. She shuddered from the sensation of his touch, squirming forward on the desk to cant her hips forward in invitation. He gave her his evil signature smirk that sent another tingle down her spine. Was it healthy to find a sociopathic Norse god so unbelievably hot? Probably not. Best not to dwell on it. Don’t think, just feel, she told herself as he rolled her left nipple between his thumb and forefinger. 

She was only slightly embarrassed by the whimper that escaped her lips when he bent to trail kisses from the corner of her jaw to her right breast. She was not at all embarrassed by the moan she gave when he went down on his knees to take her nipple into his mouth. Fire danced across where his mouth met her skin, and Darcy sat back on her hands and widened the angle of her hips to accommodate him as his tongue flicked and swirled. Her hips bucked involuntarily when he let his teeth slide across her. 

“Please,” she pleaded breathlessly.

He drew away from her breast with a wet pop. “Please, what?”

“You know,” she said.

“I’m quite sure I don’t,” he said innocently, eyebrows drawing together.

Fuck. She would kill him if she didn’t want him so badly. “You’re such an asshole,” she spat and guided his hand away from her ribs to the inside of her thigh.  
Painstakingly slowly, Loki slid his fingers up her leg until they stopped right at the juncture of her thighs. “You are quite the wicked little thing, aren’t you?” he asked in wonder. 

“What can I say? I like a breeze,” she said with a shrug that turned into a shiver as he slipped one finger inside of her and rested his thumb on her clit.

“Let me show you how wicked I can be,” he replied. He pressed his thumb in lazy circles as he slid a second digit into her and flexed them slightly.  
Every snarky comeback she might have come up with vanished as her eyes fluttered shut. She could feel the pleasure building in her like a wave as he coaxed another whimper from her throat. If this was his idea of wicked, she would gladly dress up as Dorothy. 

“There, there, there,” she breathed as he found just the right spot and rhythm. She could feel the pressure building, threatening to spill over and take her into the current. 

“Like this?” He pressed his thumb harder and increased the speed. 

“Mmhmm,” was all she could manage as the wave crested and crashed over her. She ground herself against his palm, searching for more friction and heat. The need was too much for her as the pleasure rippled and sparked, and she felt as if she might come loose from her own body. 

“Darcy,” he said in a pained voice that made her open her eyes and look out at him through slits as she rolled her hips into his hand. The sound of her name dancing across his tongue and falling past his lips was enough to make her shiver again. 

Loki’s cheeks were flushed and his pupils were black pools in his eyes. The pleasure began to ebb and the urgency that had made her hips undulate faded. She found herself weak and loose-limbed, but it wasn’t over. Not by a long shot. 

He slipped his fingers out of her and into his mouth to suck off the taste of her. She let out a pitiful moan at the sight. Jesus Fuck, how did she want him after this badly after an orgasm like that? It had been too long since she’d gotten laid. Way too fucking long. 

Loki stood in one graceful movement and walked to the other side of the desk where the chair was. 

“Hey!” she said indignantly. He did not just fucking leave her spread eagle on a desk with her lady bits to the wind. 

“Come here,” he commanded huskily, and Darcy heard the creak of old leather and springs as he took a seat in the office chair. 

“Why should I?” she shot back just to be contrary. Already, her legs were twitching weakly to obey. She couldn’t even trust her own body around this dude. It was time to invest in a new vibrator. The old one wasn’t going to cut it anymore after this. 

“Because as far as I can see,” he answered, his words accompanied by the clinking of a belt buckle being undone, “I’ve done all the work so far tonight. It’s about time you do your fair share.” 

Darcy fought the impulse to sit up and look at him as she heard the sound of a zipper being undone. She bit her lip and closed her eyes. Oh fuck, he was taking off his pants.  
“Come now, Miss Lewis,” he said with a pleased grunt, “you’re not going to leave me to handle this by myself now, are you? After all, you did want me to fuck you.” 

C’mon, Darcy, grow a fucking backbone! Don’t give in! Don’t give in! It’s just a dick. A magical, godly, dick, but a dick nonetheless. She said to herself even as she began to shift her weight back across the desk. But if his fingers felt that good, a sly part of her mind said, imagine how good how other parts must feel. 

The moment Darcy heard the sound of skin sliding against skin and the breathy moan that followed, she knew she was doomed. Dignity had never looked good on her anyways. With a grumble, she pulled her legs up onto the desk and swiveled around to face him. 

Loki sat in the chair with his hand working his cock and shot her the most devilish grin she’d ever seen. She almost wanted to walk out just from the look of smug satisfaction he got as she slid off of the desk. Come to think of it, she probably wouldn’t get that far anyways. Her thighs felt like Jello, and Darcy knew she wouldn’t be able to walk straight tomorrow from looking at the size of him. 

She kicked off her shoes and hiked up the skirt of her dress. She took a weak-kneed step towards him and straddled his hips. 

“Don’t worry, I don’t bite,” he said to her in a mocking voice as he took hold of her hips and aligned her over him. She could feel the tip of him nudging against her entrance and exhaled deeply. 

“Well, I do,” she said sweetly as she slammed her hips down onto him in one smooth motion.

“Norns,” he said in a strangled voice as he pressed the back of his head into the cracked leather. 

“God,” she said appreciatively as her body relaxed, and she felt the true size of him. It was borderline uncomfortable how full she felt. 

“There is only one god here,” he told her as he lifted her hips up and brought her down simultaneously as he snapped his hips up into her. “And that’s me,” he hissed into her ear. 

At this point, most of Darcy’s frontal lobe had ceased to work. She could only moan and wrap her arms around his neck to bury her face in his shoulder. Loki’s hands gripped her hips so tightly she knew there would be bruises there afterwards but found the thought thrilled her more than anything. She had never been afraid of a little pain.  
They slipped into a fast and shallow rhythm. Darcy bounded on his cock as Loki steadied her hips and helped lift. Her world became smaller, condensed down to that one tiny room. The office smelled of sweat and sex and the mixture of her perfume and his cologne. The only sounds were of their ragged breathing and the ominous creaking of the chair that had miraculously held up. She only saw his once pale face, a flush spreading across his sharp cheekbones, with that black hair falling into his face.

“Change it,” she said in a shaky voice as she ran her right hand through the inky locks. 

“Change what?” he answered through grit teeth as he drove his cock deeper into her.

“Your hair,” she gasped. “Change it to what it really is.” 

The Trickster mumbled a string of foreign words and suddenly he had a full head of hair brushing his shoulders once more. “Better?”

“Uh huh,” she murmured against his lips as she raked her hand through it again and fisted her fingers in the dark waves. He groaned into her mouth, the noise so low and guttural it set something off inside of her. She could feel that familiar pressure building as she increased the speed and force. “You like that?” Darcy asked, tightening her grip.

“Y-y-yes.” His hips bucked into her involuntarily as she wrenched his head back. She felt his cock twitch inside of her as she bared his throat. She ran the tip of her tongue across the bare skin of his skin, which earned her another groan. 

Darcy closed her eyes and loosened her hold on his hair as she began to feel the rush again. If she adjusted her angle, just a bit, and there it was. She expelled a sigh that turned into a whimper. Her eyes met his as he raised her above him and brought her hips crashing back down. He looked almost as undone as she felt. His cheeks were flushed pink and sweat beaded his forehead. All that black hair was mussed and tangled, and Darcy knew he would kill her later for it. Even knowing that, he was still the sexiest thing she’d ever seen. 

“Loki,” she said softly as her fingers traced one of his sharp cheekbones. Her brows furrowed and her mouth went slack as pleasure solid and real ripped through her. He slammed up and into her again and again and again. Her vision went fuzzy around the edges and her toes did that weird curling thing they did when she was in the middle of an abso-fucking-lutely fantastic orgasm. “Like that. Harder.” 

He did as she asked, and Darcy knew there was no way the chair was going to survive after this. She briefly wondered if the school would charge her for it. Then, it all got washed away as stars burst behind her eyes. 

“Say it again,” he ordered in the same tone that he had earlier. 

“What?” she asked in confusion, her brain misfiring. Words were hard at the moment, okay? 

“My name.” His voice sounded as wild and as dark as his pupil-swallowed eyes appeared.

“Loki,” she repeated and was rewarded with another thrust that sent her spinning over the edge. She felt herself being ripped away in a tide. Once she said his name, Darcy found she couldn’t stop repeating it each time he impaled her. “Loki, Loki, Loki.” She whispered the word into his ear as she pressed her cheek against his and clung to him for dear life. 

It tripped happily and drunkenly off of her tongue. It might have been the tenth or hundredth time she said it when his hips stuttered. “I’m going to. . . “ he started before she cut him off with a quick kiss. He snapped up into her with short, hard jerks of his hips. “You feel so good,” he told her and then trailed off into a string of words that sounded vaguely Nordic. She twined her fingers into his hair again and gave a hard tug that made him cry out and finish with a shudder. 

Darcy allowed herself to relax against his chest, giving a happy sigh of contentment. She could still feel the afterglow drifting through her veins. Loki finally loosened his death grip on her hips and trailed his fingers down the column of her spine. He hummed idly as he brushed his fingers over the soft skin of her back. It was some mindless, unrecognizable tune that vibrated through his chest. She pressed herself closer to him so that it began to be hard to tell where he began and she ended.

“Darcy, you’re quite-“

“Amazing? Incredible? Awe-inspiring? The pinnacle of human evolution?” She offered as she curled one black strand of hair around her finger. 

“I was going to say surprising, but I suppose all of those work too. I’m not sure I consider the pinnacle of Midgardian evolution anything to be proud of though.” 

“Hey, don’t knock us! After all, Midgardians did invent rocky road ice cream, which I know for a fact you love!” She rolled her eyes to look up into his face.

“What ever gave you that idea? I have never-“ 

“I have video footage of you sneaking into the kitchen at 3 AM last week to devour half of the fucking carton.” 

He narrowed his green eyes at her. “There’s no way. I disabled all of the cameras in the Avengers Headquarters.”

“I installed a new one on Dum-E after someone went through my third carton.” She straightened up enough to look him in the eye. “And you just admitted your own guilt.” She poked him in the chest with her index finger.

“Fine. I might enjoy some of your desserts, but that’s hardly a resounding endorsement for your species. One minor achievement doesn’t make for your other faults and mistakes.” 

Darcy let out a forced laugh. “Minor achievement? What about Prince? Don’t think I haven’t caught you dancing to “Little Red Corvette”.” 

He sputtered uselessly for a few minutes, and Darcy could only grin. Check-fucking-mate, Loki. Your ass is mine, she thought viciously to herself. It took everything in her not to rub her hands together like a cartoon villain. Maybe she should. He would probably appreciate the gesture. He probably had done it himself. 

Finally upon sensing imminent defeat, he rolled his eyes and said with a huff, “I suppose there is more to you Midgardians than I originally gave you credit for.”

“And?”

“And you’re not all dreadfully boring vacuums of air and space like Captain America nor insufferably arrogant and irrelevant like that walking atrocity of facial hair that passes for a sorcerer.” 

She stifled a laugh. “And?” She folded her arms over her chest.

“And there is you too. You’re tolerable.” 

“You seemed to think I was more than tolerable a few minutes ago, but if that’s how you really feel,” she said with a helpless shrug, “I guess round two back at headquarters is out of the question.” 

“Perhaps tolerable wasn’t quite the right word,” he amended, eyes wandering over her bare breasts. “Enjoyable might be better.” 

Darcy rolled her eyes and studied her nails. “For a guy known as Silvertongue, you’re going to have to do a lot better than that. Too bad too cause I got some toys I think you’d like.” 

“I assure you my tongue more than lives up to its reputation.”

“Tempting, but you’re gonna have to prove it. Are you really the same guy who schmoozed his way to the top of a trash planet in like three weeks? Weak.” She idly studied her nails and picked at a hangnail with her teeth, while subtly shifting her hips. 

“Two weeks actually, and you want compliments? You want saccharine sycophancy? You’ll get it.” 

“I’m waiting,” she said in a bored voice. 

“I think you are the most divine creature I have ever seen.”

“Go on.” 

Loki pressed a fingertip underneath her chin, forcing her eyes to meet his. “You are ravishing. You are beautiful. You are glorious. You contain more radiance than ten thousand suns. I have thought so from the moment I first saw you stepping onto this wretched planet. Your voice is like the singing of the sulondian birds at the first dawn of the forty-seventh age. Your eyes sparkle like seas of-“

“Ok, ok, I get it,” she said laughing with a huff, ignoring the blush creeping into her cheeks. “You really did lay on the cheese, didn’t you? God, I feel like a fucking pizza.” 

He gave her that quick smile, sharp as the daggers he wielded.

That was the truly dangerous part about Loki. It wasn’t what he said. It was that he could make you believe it. Made you want to believe it, even if you knew there wasn’t a chance in Hel it was true. Teenage Darcy was stirring to in the most lifeless, emo corners of her heart. Teenage Darcy would have lapped that shit up like it was high-class champagne, even now Darcy was finding it hard to keep her in check. All of that syrupy sweetness was like nectar to Teenage Darcy’s soul. She straight-up lived for that shit. It didn’t help that she could feel him growing hard against her once again. 

“Was that good enough?” he asked as he pressed his forehead to hers. 

“Meh, it’ll do. Now, get us out of here tall, dark, and greasy.” 

He gave her a wry smile and that signature eyebrow raise. “Done,” he said with a snap of his fingers and sent them blinking back to headquarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took me so long to finish and post this. I really struggled to write the second half of this for some reason. I must have rewritten this chapter four different times, and I admit I am still not fully satisfied with the outcome. I just felt like it should be posted before the release of Infinity War. Either way, I hope you guys enjoyed it. Leave a comment and let me know what you thought!


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